I was an uninvited guest at this wedding reception yesterday. The reception was held in a canteen.
I wasn’t alone. I had gone with Ebuka my friend.
Ebuka is a foodie, and he had singlehandedly orchestrated the whole move.
Upon our arrival, the event had already begun and it was all shades of glamour. We waited patiently until item 7 finally arrived.
The chefs began distributing the food to the attendees in takeaway packs.
Before it got to our turn, Ebuka and I had already left our seats and relocated to another section of the hall where we would eat very well without supervision.
Immediately we settled on a table away from the rest of the guests, a waitress we assumed was part of the chefs approached us.
“What would you both like, sir?” She asked us with a smile
“What and what do you have?” Ebuka asked her
“Fried rice, jollof, coconut, white” She began “We also have swallow with all types of soups”
.
Ebuka and I exchanged glances and cleared our throats.
“This couple get money o” Ebuka whispered to me “Make we enjoy my guy”
I nodded in agreement
“Give me a plate of fried rice, fried turkey and two plates of swallow with egusi soup” Ebuka ordered
I also ordered same
The food arrived moments later and we began gobbling hungrily. We also noticed the rest of the guests had just takeaway packs.
“Bring me more turkey” Ebuka ordered shortly after “Two!”
The turkey arrived almost immediately and we swung into action. Now the guests had started dispersing. The ceremony was over.
The waitress soon approached us again
“Here’s your bill, sir” She said, passing me a long slip
“Wetin?” I voiced, collected it and peered at the slip “Bill for what?”
“For your orders, sir” She replied
I passed the slip to Ebuka
“Wetin be this?” Ebuka muttered with turkey trapped in his mouth “Na bet9ja slip?”
“Them say make we pay for wetin we chop o” I announced
“Pay wetin!?” Ebuka snapped angrily, spitting out the turkey in his mouth “Na wedding we come o”
“Sir, this hall is divided into two” The waitress began “That part is exclusively for the wedding reception and this part is for our customers”
I also removed the turkey in my mouth
.”Which kind winch be this?” I turned to Ebuka who was now breathing rapidly
“Which kind wicked couple be this!?” Ebuka yelled “This is the height of wickedness!”
“So how much is everything?” I asked the waitress
“73k sir!” She snapped
“73k for wetin? for turkey wey no done?” Ebuka voiced
“Sir, you either pay now or I alert the security!” She threatened
“Call security!” Ebuka snapped “You see that couple? them no go know peace… Their marriage go scatter!”
Úncle Nnamdi wrote it ✍️