I grew up on Lagos Mainland. A confirmed Shakiti Bobo.
My Manor, till today, runs from Palm Grove through to Ikeja.
We no dey fra kpa kpa. No pon pon pin pon.
What you see is what you get.
We don’t form in Palm Grove or Ikeja, unlike the Ikoyians and Victoria Islanders, that walk about like say one leg long pass the other….and we don’t talk through our noses.
Olamide, Badooo, comes to mind.
But sha, sometimes, those island moves dey get K-leg.
I had met this cute Honorable Judge’s daughter in school, in Ijèbu Ode, whilst repeating my ‘A levels’ for the 10th or 20th time.
She fell for my bad boy moves, and we escalated to the next level. Sebi sebi ?
She lived on posh Gerard road, Ikoyi, whilst I lived in Obanikoro, 2 bustops after Onipànu and 2 bustops before Onigbongbo, Maryland. Yes o.
Anyways, during the summer hols, I decided to visit her in Ikoyi.
I managed to raid Alhaja’s purse, to fund my sojourn, and after careful precision planning, I set out.
I expertly skipped on to a moving molue rickety bus on Ikorodu road, and hopped off as soon as the conductor closed in on me. Normal thing.
3 funky trains skipping and dodging later, I arrived at Obalende bus top.
Next plan; I tucked in my shirt, adjusted my dad’s borrowed tie, and hailed a clean air-conditioned Lagos Yellow Taxi to Gerard Road, Ikoyi….
God answered my prayer that she was standing in front of the house when my taxi pulled up……Come and see my posing, as I removed my cheap Palm Grove ass from the cab….
She was obviously very impressed, because apart from a few fumblings on Justice ****** cosy leather settee, I also got my first ever 20 minute grind of dry humping…..I almost broke Mr John Thomas ke….phew!!
Eventually, it was time to go……
“Ooh, thanks for a great time, Abe”… She cooed, looking all flustered and disheveled, while I tried to nudge my mother of all boners into a respectable bunch under my Wrangler skin tight stretch jeans, without any luck….
Then she dropped the bombshell……”ok darling, let me see you off to catch a taxi”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!… Taxi ke????? What is wrong with this girl? Taxi bi ti bawo?
I quickly adjusted.
“Erm, erm never mind babes, I will be fine, I stuttered, frantically trying to calculate how much I had left in my pocket……
The original plan was to stroll leisurely back to Obalende, remove my borrow borrow tie, do some more skipping on and off molues, dodge some bus conductors, and head back home ke!……
All these Ajèburra girls sef!
She leant her head on my shoulder as we strolled down the road, trying to hail a taxi…
Na she even stop the first taxi sef…..” Taxi, Obanikoro pls”, she purred, in her now annoying Ikoyi posh accent…..She no even price am. Chai!
Even all the kissing she gave me, as I was entering the yeye taxi, no get meaning again.
Anyway sha, as the taxi took the next turning, out of sight, on to Kingsway road…….
“Oga, abeg abeg, pull over, I don forget something, I no go again….”
🎵 i no go again, Godwin o🎵
***When i finish the story next week, you will either cry or clap for me.
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