TODAY’S YOUNG MEN IN NIGERIA AND WORLDWIDE: THE PRESSURES OF DATING, FINANCES, AND MORALITY – GOSH! WE WERE SO LUCKY!

As a 53-year-old man, I look at the young men of today—both in Nigeria and around the world—and I can’t help but feel a mix of sympathy and relief. Sympathy for the immense pressure they face when it comes to dating and relationships, and relief that I grew up in an era where things were, quite frankly, a lot simpler.

Back in our day, dating was straightforward. If you liked a girl, you made an effort to impress her, took her out (often to a modest place), and built a relationship based on mutual respect and connection. But today? Dating has turned into a high-stakes competition, an expensive, performative game fueled by unrealistic expectations, social media pressures, and rapidly changing moral standards.

The Financial Burden

One of the biggest challenges young men face today is the financial expectation in dating. In the past, a man’s financial standing was important but not necessarily the defining factor in whether he could find love. If a guy had ambition and was hardworking, that was often enough. But today, before a young man even dares to approach a woman, he has to take stock of his bank account.

There is an unspoken rule now that dating a woman means funding a lifestyle—dinners at high-end restaurants, expensive gifts, designer clothes, and sometimes even supporting her personal expenses. Social media has played a huge role in this shift. Women are constantly exposed to images of extravagant lifestyles, luxurious vacations, and designer accessories, leading many to expect the same from the men they date.

The pressure is so intense that many young men feel that if they don’t have a car, a steady flow of cash, and the ability to “spoil” a woman, they are simply not good enough. What happened to genuine connection, shared dreams, and growing together?

The Immorality Epidemic

Let’s talk about morality—or rather, the loss of it. Relationships used to be about emotional bonding and building a future together. Now, we live in an era where physical intimacy is often expected early in a relationship, and many women use it as a bargaining chip for financial security.

In Nigeria, and indeed worldwide, social media and pop culture have glorified transactional relationships. “Runs girls” (women who engage in transactional relationships) have become normalized, and many young women openly state that they would rather date an older, wealthy man who can take care of them than a hardworking young man who is still trying to find his footing in life.

Dating has become more about what a person can offer materially rather than the depth of their character. And as a result, many young men feel disillusioned, wondering if genuine love even exists anymore.

The Dressing Dilemma

Then there’s the issue of dressing—both for men and women. In our time, dressing well was about looking neat, responsible, and carrying oneself with dignity. These days, the fashion trends among young women often leave little to the imagination, while young men are caught between looking flashy to attract attention and maintaining a conservative look to be taken seriously in society.

The rise of social media influencers and celebrities has reshaped what is considered attractive, leaving many young men in a dilemma. Do they dress to impress and compete in an increasingly materialistic world, or do they stay true to themselves and risk being overlooked?

The Pressure Is Real

I genuinely feel for the young men of today. The dating landscape is far more complicated than it was in our time. The pressure to be financially successful, to constantly prove one’s worth, and to navigate an increasingly superficial dating scene can take a toll on any man’s confidence and mental health.

If there’s any advice I can give, it’s this: don’t lose yourself in the chaos. Build your financial independence at your own pace, seek a partner who values you for who you are, and remember that true love is built on character, not just wealth or appearances.

We were so lucky back in the day. Today’s young men? They have a battle to fight every day just to find something as simple and pure as love.

God help them.